Sometimes one must just let go and allow the Spirit to speak.  For the words of man or woman do not allow for the lessons to be explained in adequate terms.

Men are different from women physically as well as emotionally.  When I say I love Jesus Christ it is beyond all the mushy stuff that is attached to the conotation given by people who see love as a fleshly thing.  Yet there is that deeply emotional attachment that makes me want to be by His side, and walk with Him for the pure pleasure it brings to my heart and the peace it brings to my spirit.

Now to some that might be considered a kind of homosexuality.  Not at all, I have no desire to have sex with men at all, yet I can love them and want them to be my friends and close companions because we share that same male thing of the bonding of men.  We are men and we enjoy each other's company because we think and act alike in many ways. Women share that same thing with women and it is good, not evil as some try to make it out to be. 

 Of course there are individual differences within us, some are more sensitive and compassionate, while others are gruff and stoic.  Yet within all of us, unless they are a sick individual, there is that spark of understanding that we are all Created equal in God's eyes or if not a believer that man has the same rights just because they are a human , in that we have all been given life by Him and, all are supposed to be allowed to choose what they will believe and follow.

The more I have of Christ.  The less I want of my fleshly ways.  The more He gives me of Him, the less satisfying the things of the earth-the governments, religions, the ways of the world, the status symbols mankind uses to measure the worth of others in their eyes, ...-

The more He exposes the corruption, the less value I place on the things exposed, to the point of total rejection of the values place on them by the world and those who promote those ways.  I was warned not to do certain things years ago and I did not listen- I was backslidden and thought the pleasures of the flesh were lasting and would bring fulfillment- so I made decisions that I'm now bound by.  Not the decisions that God said to make but the decisions my flesh craved.  Well, I listened to my flesh and I have sown the discord of the Spirit vs the flesh.  It is a very painful thing to know that God called on one and one said no, I know better, and God not only warned me once but many times, for He knew the sorrows I would pierce myself through with, yet my flesh was desirous and I had to have what I wanted to fulfill the demands.  Or so I thought, sadly I have come to learn that I should have listened to God and denied the direction my flesh wanted, for the flesh is fleeting in it's time and the sorrows it brings can last an eternity.

Thankfully, I believe I have been forgiven and, God has given me that eternal life with Him through Christ my Lord and Savior.  Yet the sorrows I chose for my flesh continue on in this world until God's timing is used to end them.  He is using me to warn others of the folly of the flesh, and the beliefs that all will be peaches and cream, even if one chooses ones own path away from Him.  For the unhappiness, of the flesh lingers through the years, while the Spirit of God continues to work within us and refine us.  Through His mercy we are given eternal life, and yet we must continue on in this life we live, on the path we chose to walk until we are released from the bonds of the mortal flesh.    Released to come Home to Him and give thanks and praise to Him for His unwarranted mercies and everlasting Love.

Yes even we who Love God, and are saved in Christ and walk the life we are called to walk, suffer in the flesh for the decisions made for the benefits of the flesh.  That is part of the reasons I cry out and say to turn from the folly of the fleshly ways to those who believe.  For I truly know of the sorrows and pains the flesh can cause to themselves and others.  It is not just our own suffering that bothers us it is the suffering of those we affect by our own selfishness and greed.  We see all to clearly-through His wisdom- the cost of our wanting it our way instead of allowing His Way to be our way.

So when I write these articles I'm lashing out at my own former ways that are seen to be being practiced by those who consider themselves wise in the ways of the world.  They do not know the cost yet, to them and others, while I do know the misery the ways of the world bring.  So it is out of the sorrow I know they will have and the Love in Christ that I try to share. 

Not to put myself above them, but so they will not be lowered to where I went, for there is no joy in seeing the deceived suffer.  Only the knowledge of what they will see, one day sooner or later and the knowledge that like me, they will have to live with the understanding that they made the choices. 

I'm used by Him for as long as He will direct my way, and all that He gives me is for His glorification not mine, so I walk with Him and give thanks for all He has given me.  Including the sorrows I chose to live, for by allowing me to see it.  He has allowed me to come to Him of my own free will and acknowledge He is Lord, and that I need Him and ask Him to forgive me for my ways and to please change me as He will to follow in His Way. 

He has and I do. I still fall down and make mistakes, but He picks me and cleans off and says follow Me.

He is there for all who will come to Him.  He will forgive those who repent in Him and they will be changed by Him and in us we have His fruit. 

I know some question my beliefs because I do not accept their conservatism as a way of Christ.  It is because I see none of His fruit in their professions, but see the ways of the flesh that I once gloried in while calling myself one of His.  Not of Him, but of the world who do not know Him, yet claim Him to justify their ways and glorify the flesh they walk in.

The sorrows of this flesh are heavy, but Jesus is not, and in Him we still have the burdens we place upon ourselves in the flesh.  But our spirits are cleansed in Him and are freed to come to God for Christ is worthy where we were not.

Just something I'm called to share.  Accept it or not.